she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
