Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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