This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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