Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
