I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
