Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
