Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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