member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
