How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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