we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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