um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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