Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
