just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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