Your tits are I can't wait for
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
