just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
