I wannas sexs uuuuu
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
