sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
