Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
