The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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