just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
