I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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