I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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