Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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