She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
