it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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