Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
