it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
as a side note pls kill me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
