i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dignity is for republicans.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
