Whod you bang
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
