I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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