Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
