Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Let's get the cat blown out
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
