your thong is hanging out like whoa
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
