I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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