I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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