I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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