i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
