rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
