Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
