I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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