My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
