you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
