Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
