i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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