Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
