i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
