So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
