if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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