forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
