I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
